Something about me

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Learning by not doing

It's been the case in the last couple of years that I have learnt some valuable life-lessons by watching other people make mistakes. It's taught me a lot about how NOT to live my life. How NOT to build trust and manage relationships. How NOT to be a lousy people manager. How NOT to be a lousy boss, co-worker, daughter-in-law, friend or son.
I've learnt (and yes, we all know these things, but seeing other people know them and still make mistakes...that provides a lot food for thought and makes it's application in your own life a lot easier)
Life is too short for regrets. Any kind, big or small. Regret can blight your present and the future and strip every enjoyment from it. Let it go.
As a corollary - Enjoy the here and the now. Don't hanker after anticipated future bounties, nor look back on the past (even if it was glorious).
Be nice. But never be a doormat. Accomodate, just don't allow people to take you for granted.
Building a great team or company is all about building trust and relationships. It's got very little to do with how brainy or competent you are. Beyond a certain point, a leader's personal competence is irrelevant; what is relevant is only her ability to create and nurture a team that can do great things. 
Unfortunately one of the things they don't teach you at b-school (Harvard or lesser) is how to be a good leader, someone who inspires and nurtures, whom people look up to, someone who is secure enough to create the people who will replace him.
Yes, there is a lot to learn from the people around you! Hopefully, NOT doing all the wrong things will mean that I DO get some things right!!


  1. True Aparna .. People around do really teach us how to be and how not be ..
    And yes, building trust and relationships is a very important factor for building a good team .. But I also feel personal competence is an essential requirement to get people in your team to look up to you and respect you ..
    'someone who is secure enough to create the people who will replace him' .. Well said! Very few have that ability ..

    1. Agree about the personal competence aarthy but that's also why I said "beyond a point" it is not so important...the whole idea is that u train ur team to get so good at execution that all u have to do is provide the direction.

  2. How true... People can teach us so much, but then at times when we look back at myself, at times I think I have made a fresh set of mistakes and frankly speaking, I am fine with where it will take me. I think we will/ are bound to make mistakes as human beings, it is just about knowing where these mistakes might lead us to... have your path clear in front of you and one person's wrong is another's right then.

    1. True, learns from one's mistakes and hopefully one does not repeat them!! I've never been too successful at learning from my past mistakes, i have to make the same mistake a couple of times atleast before I change my habits/behaviour :(

  3. An absolutely well learnt lesson "NOT doing all the wrong things will mean that I DO get some things right" :) This thought shall stay with me.

  4. well said! u begin to trust ppl in relationship,but its is not always a good idea, sometimes ppl take advantage of ur niceness and will betray ur trust thinking its okay to do it...'she won't mind' ha! and thats the joke!


I would love to hear your thoughts :)